MY FIFTH YEAR DIAGNOSIS ANNIVERSARY

Well, aside from being Pearl Harbor Day and my baby niece Corey's 19th birthday, today is the fifth year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Usually I try to celebrate the date in some small way, since I believe Dr. Letterie saved my life by discovering cancer. You may recall that Jack and I had been trying unsuccessfully to conceive, and that is what ultimately led me to be diagnosed.

On my one year anniversary, I had a giant surgery with Dr. Sinanan - you know, the one where he snipped out my rectus abdominus muscle - thanks to quick thinking by brother Jim. If it weren't for that surgery, I probably would not be sitting at the computer typing a blog entry right now. In fact, that was about the time I started planning my own funeral. The following year I had a second cancer recurrence and was deep in chemo one again. Making the five year anniversary seemed a daunting challenge and there were many times I envisioned throwing a giant party if I ever made it.

It's been over two years since my last chemo and over three since my last surgery. I so prefer to be pregnant! Many a foxhole prayer went up, but not for a cure or a long life. Instead I prayed I'd live long enough to know what it is to be a mom. My prayers, and the millions of prayers many of you said on my behalf, were answered with an emphatic YES! As sister Anne says, "We don't know why God wants us to pray for others, but we know he does want that." So thank you to all the prayer warriors who joined in or led this community baby project.

Last night Vanessa wriggled and twisted all night long. Since I'm missing an abdominal muscle, I can feel her every move on that side. Today I found myself bawling my eyes out on the highway, thanks to two songs on the radio that I thought would be funny to play during my labor. One was Anything You Want You Got It by Roy Orbison and the other was Twist and Shout by the Beatles. Both have the word "baby" in the lyrics, so of course I was a sobbing mess, with mascara running down my face in true Tammy Faye Baker fashion.

This year, to celebrate, Jack and I talked it over and we did not feel a giant party was in order. How about a fat baby girl instead? Such a celebratory slam dunk, don't you think? Nessa won't be born today - I feel too normal - but I imagine she'll debut this month. Thank you God for our miracle child!