THE TEEN MONTHS

Yes, it's the 22nd, and that means today Vanessa is 13 months old. Yahoo!

Grandma Patty is helping us notice her little milestones. For example, her latest trick is sharing. Yes, her parents feed her, she feeds her parents. Her parents give her a sip of water, she grabs the cup and slams it against her parent's mouth presumably to give them a sip. Milo gnaws on the end of a plastic bottle, Vanessa grabs it, gnaws on the end, then offers it back. Like passing the peace pipe.

Yesterday a new tooth erupted. She's been sporting two top and two bottom teeth for months now, so the addition of tooth #5 has been long anticipated.



Three days ago, Daddio was playing "20 Questions" with me while Vanessa sat on my lap. I kept saying, "No. No. No." So Vanessa said, "No." for the first time. She hasn't used it in a complete sentence yet, so should I put that in her baby book?

Then, while practicing a game of share, we said, "Give that to Grandma now." Our little Wahkeenah shook her head, "No." Where'd she learn that? We laughed hard.

VH1 is discovering shapes. She dumped her bin of shoes on the floor and spread them out, then made her way to the guest room, nabbed one of Grandma Patty's shoes, and brought it back to add to her collection. Grandma Patty's shoe is size 10. Vanessa has a tiny yellow star. She plowed through what I estimate to be 500 toys to find a wand with a star on the end of it, and she held them together. It's official. She's smarter than her mother.



Over the weekend one of her boyfriends, Grant, had a birthday party. Vanners thought it was her party, of course, and remained as close to the spotlight as possible. Grant was very gracious about this, the perfect host.

In addition to cake and ice cream and lots of adult guests, Grant had three contemporaries helping him celebrate. Grant's peeps:

The adorable Baby Scarlett.

The gemtleman Baby Thomas (18 months).

And your favorite frozen tot, Bananakins.

Vanessa let Grant play with her silver birthday tennies. Van also made herself perhaps a little too "at home." This move upset the boys.

What?

OUR WILD IRISH ROSE

Who says blondes have more fun? Vannerkins is giving redheads quite a good name. Her grandmother, Granny Ernie, is with us for the weekend, and those two redheads really spice up the joint.

Isn't she sweet? Don't be fooled. She's wild, I tell you!

Today, after a bath and some hair mousse, we bundled up a wardrobe bag and shuffled off to Sears for a photoshoot. If you plunk down enough cash, they give you a CD of the shots and the rights to them. So have a gander:

If you look closely at the photos, you might notice that Grandma Patty looks a wee bit different. Yesterday Vanny took her to get her ears pierced at the tender age of 77. Where do they do the best piercings? The tattoo parlor, of course. It was kind of hard to hear each other over the hum of the electric tatooing needles, but Johnny, Grandma Patty's piercing specialist, really did a great job.

The day before that, Grandma Patty got her eyebrows shaped for the first time in 40 years. After cataract surgery last month, she realized they might need it. I mean we're wild around here.

BIG HEAD PRIDE

Okay, I'll admit, I haven't been thrilled with the fact that our baby daughter's monster head means she's been mistaken for a boy on a daily basis, even though I do my best to dress in her pink.

Even yesterday, when she was dressed in a hot pink tee shirt, pink tennis shoes, and - gasp! - a pair of blue jeans, two people thought she was a boy. Darn it! I'm forced to say, "Oh, she's a girl. She just has a really big head."

(See how she stands as she rides in her umbrella stroller? She also slithers out of the high chair straps at restaurants, stands on her chair and crawls across the table top. You should see us scramble.)

I can't put any of her pretty head bands on her because, A. Vanessa hates anything on her head, and B. they're too small. Heck, I didn't know I should buy headbands for a 4 year old. Sometimes I sneak a little bow in her hair, but they're choking hazards, so I have to watch her. Lord knows everything goes into the mouth.

Many times Daddio has caught me singing this affirmation after one of those trying days out in public:

I like big heads and I can not lie

You other mothers can't deny

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty face

And a round head in its place

"Boy" is wrong!

And she's not that tough

But you noticed that head was stuffed

Deep in the beanie she's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh, baby I wanna play with ya

And take your picture

My pedi tried to tell me

But that head you got

Make me so HAPPY

I think we have the best pediatrician on earth, because I know other parents whose big headed girls had to have CT scans to see if they were okay. Dr. Bravo isn't worried. Also, I know other moms whose babies had to have x-rays and bone density tests when their growth pattern dropped from the 90th to 70th percentiles. Dr. Bravo didn't do that to Vanessa. He's so great!

Grandma Patty is visiting and you should see how Vanners and she get along. Very adorable. Things VH1 has learned since seeing her at Thanksgiving are:

flush the toilet
feed the dog
feed her parents
walk
climb up into a chair
climb down out of a chair
feed herself by hand
blow bubbles to make us laugh
bring you whatever you ask for
clap
wave and say "bye-bye" or "hi"
go underwater, turn, and rise up on her back
help with dressing
say many new things, mostly in Vanglish
drink cow's milk
share what she finds on the floor
slide down the slide
climb up the front of the tv stand and hang on in a pull-up position
growl as she eats (grum, grum, grum)

In fact, since her pediatric appointment, we've suddenly realized how much she understands. Here I'd been thinking we have all manner of time before she picks up on what we say, since she can't really speak English yet. Wrong. She gets it all. I'm horrified, of course, because I haven't been editing anything I say.



Daddio is taking Vanessa to her second set of swim lessons. He is shamelessly proud. They've gone to two lessons and both times Daddio has concluded that Vanners is "the star." The instructor has Van do all the demonstrations. There are two older men in her class, both age 3, with their dads. Jack says, "She loves those older boys." Of course she's still at a fearless age, while they are developing a little sense of self preservation.

When I'm not humming Sir-Mix-Alot raps, I'm bawling my eyes out to this Christmas song that made its way into my heart last year. Clearly it was written about the Baby Jesus, but Baby Vanessa resembles him (and not just with her big head). This played all December while I was pregnant, and all January as a lullabye while I held newborn Nessa. I continue to marvel at our good fortune and unspeakable, undeserved blessings.

CHILD OF LOVE (Sara Groves)

Child of wonder, close Your eyes

Rest here in my arms tonight

Someday You will save the world

But tonight I'll hold You, right here in my arms

Precious miracle of life, child of love

Gift of hope, the gift of light

From the Father above

And You were made for all mankind

But You will always be mine, child of love

Gabriel's promise has come true

God has blessed this world with You

And as I humbly hold You now

In my heart I know I'm holding heaven's child

Precious miracle of life, child of love

Gift of hope, the gift of light

From the Father above

And You were made for all mankind

But You will always be mine, child of love

Precious miracle of life, child of love

Gift of hope, the gift of light

From the Father above

And You were made for all mankind

But You will always be mine, child of love

Child of wonder, close Your eyes...

ONE YEAR CHECK UP

Vanessa made a trip to visit her pediatrician this week to check up on him. He was pleased to see her, as usual. She sat very still as he used his toy (stethescope) to listen to her heart and lungs, and she gave him a giant yeowl so he could examine the back of her throat. Van is cooperative that way. Then she got three more shots and that was that.

It turns out that Vanners finally grew in length. Thank God! You see, she had only gained 1/2 inch in length between her 6- and 9-month appointments, a time when most babies grow 3 times that. Our baby daughter was wearing 18-24 month onesies but only 9 month old pants, leading me to be concerned she might grow up to be a gecko.

At that 9-month appointment she had dropped down to the 70th percentile for length. I wondered what I was doing wrong all of a sudden. Sure enough, at the 12 month mark Van is back up to the 93rd percentile at a length (height) of 31.125 inches. She weighs 24 lbs. 4 oz. which is the 94th percentile for weight.

I've stopped being concerned about her monsterous noggin. This appointment, Vanessa's head circumerference is 49.5 cm which is nearly average for a four year old. Yup. Big ole head. She's something like five standard deviations above the norm in head circumference. Um... that's a lot.

Now I know that Auntie Anne is reading this and wondering, "Is her pediatrician concerned?" The answer is no, he is not. Vanners has been off the chart for head circumference since the beginning, and, since the beginning, he thinks it's okay.

"She's smart," he mentioned. "She is aware of every single thing going on," he added. Oh yes: nothing new there.

I have read more on baby head circumference than you can imagine is out there to be read. That happens when you find our your child is in, say, the 150th percentile of something.

Big heads run in families, just as small head do. There are big and small heads on both sides of the family, and a few planetoid craniums, even. So heredity is one factor for wee VanNesserkins.

When a baby is born with a small head that seems to explode with growth in the first year, there can be a concern for autism. This is well documented for babies under 24 months. Here is information on head circumference and autism, from researchers at UCSD:

http://health.ucsd.edu/news/2003/07_15_Courchesne.html

It was found that the head size of the autistic children at birth was, on average, in the 25th percentile, meaning that the circumference measurement for these children was smaller than 75 percent of other newborns. During the first year of life, however, these same children experienced sudden, rapid and excessive brain growth, that put them in the 85th percentile at about 12- to 14-months of age. From then on, the brain growth slowed. "This burst of overgrowth takes place in a brief period of time, between about two months and six to 14 months of age," Courchesne said. "So, we know it cannot be caused by events that occur later, such as vaccinations for mumps, measles and rubella or exposure to toxins during childhood."

Never have we been concerned Vanessa has autism. Not for a minute.

Vanessa is just fine. Especially considering how her mother started life. Heck, I had a horrible lisp, pigeon toes that required leg braces, an attention issue that warranted formal hearing tests, and I rocked on all fours every night until age 12. Funny, back then my parents thought nothing of it - probably never even heard of autism. And oh yeah, I was a portly 30 lbs. at 12 months.

(This snapshot was tucked away in my late Uncle Jack's 2x3 inch brag book spanning 20 years. I had to crop and enlarge, since the cake and six rootbeer floats are in the foreground. In fact, I think the photo is really of the cake and rootbeer floats, and that baby Mary is lucky to be in the shot at all. There are two other known photographs of me under the age of 1.)

Jack, on the other hand, was walking at 11 months and riding a tricycle at 18 months. He weighed 26 lbs. on his first birthday. In comparison, Nanners is leaner but on par with her Daddy's physical gifts. (Just today the parents at the park remarked at what a nimble climber Van is at the tender age 12 months. Well hello: get a load of her monkey toes.)

(Here is Daddio (and Granny Ernestine and Auntie Kathy) on his very first birthday onboard the Queen Fredrika, en route to Africa with the family. That's the ship's Captain serving him. This photo was taken and hand-developed by Jack's father and lovingly showcased in Jack's "This is Your Life" 40th birthday photo album. It's an 8x10. There are several other shots in his baby book as well.)

There is a new study out on head circumference and intelligence, from researchers across the pond. Gee whiz, I'd much prefer to believe our 150th percentile, monster-headed baby is healthy. Wouldn't you?

PEDIATRICS Vol. 118 No. 4 October 2006, pp. 1486-1492 (doi:10.1542/peds.2005-2629)

In a recent study, higher IQ scores at the age of 9 years were associated with increased head growth both in the first 9 months of life and between 9 months and 9 years of age, regardless of head size at the start of these periods, but detailed information on growth after 9 months of age was not available. Results from some small studies of very low birth weight infants have indicated that the critical period for catch-up brain growth, in terms of later intelligence, may be confined to the first 1 year of life. Our findings provide additional evidence that infancy is the most important period of postnatal brain growth for determining later intelligence. Brain growth after infancy, at least in terms of brain volume, is unlikely to compensate for poor growth in the first year of life.

Here is the link to the whole article, if you're curious...

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/reprint/118/4/1486

I have to say, it's confusing. So is head growth healthy or a sign of a problem? Hmmmm. Eeny, meeny, miny moe... I choose "supreme health" in Vanners' case. Heck, she's been supremely healthy through all the odds to date, why should she switch up now?

We aren't sure how to grow a big brain intentionally. Maybe Vanessa knows.

But wait one minute: Vanessa's head circumference is technically average for her age. She is, afterall, 4 years old.

P.S. Grandma Patty arrived from Vermont and every time she laughs, Vanny laughs, too. Some of these photos were taken by Grandma on her new digital camera.

THE SECOND YEAR BEGINS

Happy New Year, one and all! We are celebrating with a toddler in our midst. How many years did we think that would happen? And how many did we think that might never happen? In any event, Vanessa is making her mark boldly, willingly and even gleefully on our lives. We couldn't be happier.

Our 1st Birthday celebrations rolled right into our Christmas celebrations, which have rolled seamlessly into our New Year's festivities. For ten years in Seattle we had an Urban Family holiday on New Year's Eve, with a group of us gathering each year for a lobster and champagne dinner party. That was then. This year we watched the baby play and were asleep by 11:30. Ha!

However, we are having fun times. Vanessa has some VIP houseguests - "Auntie" Nell (a.k.a. Nellie) and "Uncle" Chris. Nell and Chris are two of Jack's most accomplished athletes from Seattle who are graduated, semi-professional Olympic hopefuls. I think they were in high school when I was first diagnosed with cancer, so they've pretty much seen our stuff up close and personal. Track and Field coaches, you see, meet with their athletes 5-7 days per week for 9 months per year, for 4-5 years.

Chris and Nell are visiting from Seattle to get some warm weather training (and sun bathing). They are enjoying Vanessa's way of life and obvious contributions to the Jack and Mary Show. She's a keeper.

Just before New Year's Eve, we were also visited by Morrey Brown's family, Jonathan, Cynthia and Ajun. Morrey is the freshman athlete who died the first week of school this year. We had some time with the Browns and could show them our sunset view, before catching up in the living room. Chris and Nell knew Morrey, too - they helped Jack run a Track and Field Sports camp a few summers ago. Morrey was a camper and that's partly how he decided to come to college here - to work with Jack. Morrey's birthday would have been 12/28. Cynthia said, "Vanessa is a sea-goat like Morrey." Capricorn is the sea-goat, fitting for our little Wahkeenah, who swims underwater, climbs like a billy goat and eats pretty much like one, too.

On New Year's Eve, Chris and Nell tossed aside their sweats, donned some formal gear, and we thought they buffed up real nice. See them here, hamming for the camera...

On New Year's day, Vanessa took Chris and Nell for a long walk on our lovely beach. Our lovely beach was stripped clean of its sand recently. It's now more of a rock climb than a beach walk. Nanners could care less: she still fits in the Bjorn on Daddy's chest.

One of the spots is "the cave," which used to be dry at low tide. Now that the sand has been washed away, the cave is so deep it's full of water even at low tide. It was 75 degrees, but the ocean water was ice cold. Not that Nanners noticed. See Daddio leading the adventure...

I guided our poor, skinny, nearly hairless doggie as he swam through the cave, the scruff of his neck in one hand and the camera aloft in the other. The second cave has less water in it, so I could kinda film it...

We Seattlites have been enjoying summery weather this week. I mean, we're acting like we've never seen the sun before. It's good to "vacation" when you can. That's what we say.

And although our little sea goat really can walk, walking remains only one option in her considerable repetoire of movement. See her in her element, catching up with Mama? She's a hoot.

P.S. Today's blog is dedicated to "Grandma" Bev. XOX