JANUARY, FEBRUARY 2011


In January, Vanessa started music lessons. I went in to the music school inquiring about Suzuki violin, but the owner took one look at Vanessa running around to every instrument to bang on it, and said, "No, Suzuki violin is for quiet children who spend hours and hours doing things on their own. Why don't you try a drums, piano and voice combo?" So this is what she is trying, one time per week, with wonderful teacher named Sierra who showed up the first day wearing black patent leather pumps, just like Vanessa. Vanessa nearly levitated with excitement when she saw that. Later, Sierra told me she had never met a student like Vanessa before and that she was just exactly like Vanessa as a child. Sierra is a musician and a very calm, level headed, happy person, so I loved to hear that both A. she "got" Vanessa, and B. Vanessa might turn out like Sierra.

We had a nice long visit from Auntie Susan's sister "Auntie" Carol and cousin Julia. Cousin Julia graduated from Daddio's alma mater, SPU, and now has a big girl job in northern California as an ICU nurse, working 12 hour shifts. It was wonderful to see them! We had beautiful weather for their visit, and the temps kept going up, up, up to 90 mid January.

Keenan had a photo shoot with photographer/friend Melissa Hogan. Her comment was, "He absolutely has the personality for this kind of thing. He's comfortable in front of the camera, he follows directions, he's connected with me, and he even knows how to place his hands. After 3 hours of shooting, he is not tired, he seems like he's just warming up!" The pictures are beautiful and I've submitted some to a modeling agency in L.A. and one in San Francisco.

We got over to Fresno to see Grandma Debbie, Grandpa Doc and Zoey for a day. We gave Zoey a karaoke machine that can record, since she's such a singer/song writer.

Unfortunately, in January my godmother, who was one of my mom's bridesmaids and friends since first grade, Annette Augustoni, passed away. Annette was very excited about the birth of Vanessa and Keenan's adoption. I am sorry to lose such a wonderful person in my life.

In February, Vanessa started ballet and tap class. She has been marching around on her toes since age 2 or even earlier, so she was ready. In fact, she pulls herself together for class so fast and thoroughly that I'm tempted to enroll her in class 5 days a week. Maybe full body music interpretation suits her. It certainly holds her attention. She likes ballet a little more than tap, though. We also noticed that, when she sits down on the floor, legs out straight, and points her toes she can touch them all the way down to the floor and hold them there. You try that! It's impossible! We always knew she had "ankles of delight," and podiatrist Dr. Rennie did comment a year ago that Vanessa had "awesomely sturdy ankles," so now, ballet. She'll start swimming again soon, she wants to get back into gymnastics ("after you learn to swim" I say) and soccer in the fall. All require strong ankles.

Keenan wants to do everything Vanessa does, of course. In fact, I now believe he thinks he's a 4 year old girl who is not as tall and can't talk yet. Other than that, he's there. This reminds me of how important it is to have toddlers around other toddlers of the same age, so I'm looking forward to September, when I think I can get him into Vanessa's preschool. In the mean time, I am looking to do some play dates or mommy and me classes with other 18-24 month olds.

Jack, Vanessa and Keenan all got another flu with fevers and aches. Somehow I missed that one, but Daddio got hit the hardest. Ah, the cold and flu season. And Keenan, bless his little heart, has burst out with a mouth full of molars this month to boot.

We got to see some VIPs in February - we went to San Francisco to celebrate February birthdays with Granny Ernestine and Cousin Matt. My gosh, we used to celebrate all together in Seattle, back when Matt and I lived there. It was a great chance for California Hoyts and Henry sisters to get together in the Bay Area. Auntie Carol master minded the party. Vanessa and Keenan were the "crazy cousins," couped up in the apartment on a rainy day, eating chocolate cake and ice cream and listening to 12 adults talk to each other. Thank goodness Granny had a new iPad to distract them. Love them apps.

In developmental news, VH1 suddenly began writing out her letters. Sure, some words are written upside down and backwards, but if you have a mirror, you can make them out. Her art continues to be innovative and inspired, even if her hand skills don't represent the realism she says she'd like. How can a 4 year old feel self conscious about her art work? We shower her with praise and encouragement, but she likes things a certain way. Perhaps her favorite form is mixed media 3-D Play-Doh sculpture.

She has also taken to the laptop, specifically practicing her letters and reading on starfall.com. What an awesome site. V-Dog is completely engrossed in the material. I have been showing her the ABC's part for about a year, but I taught her to use the touch pad about 2 weeks ago and she's been off like a shot, navigating the site by herself. Today I heard her going through the math exercises. She loves computer based learning, and I must say I love that she loves it.

Keenan, as mentioned, does it all. Well, except talk. He's taking his time there, but we are in no way concerned. In fact, I talk to Keenan like he's 4 and he lets me know he gets the whole picture. Somewhere we read that it's important to tell a toddler before changing to the next activity. We do that, and Keenan seems to like it. If I say, "Okay, it's time to go get Vanessa at school now," he gets right up and motors off to help me get the keys, open the door to the garage, get into the car seat, latch his car seat - yes, he does that - and start singing The Sound of Music score. The kids sing along to all the songs.

Keenan loves to sing. He had me in hysterics when I sang Camp Town Ladies to him for the second time - he chimed right in with Doo Dah! Doo Dah! while I was holding him and singing to him in the dark. He can say choo-choo for any train, cock-a-doodle-do for any rooster and coo-coo (the Sound of Music), and all manner of animal noises. He can also say No and Bee and Cheese, and his "yes" comes out Dssss which is tres cute. I have videos of him being interviewed and DANCING, but they are hard to upload on the blog. I'll try.

The big news for March is that we are looking forward to seeing cousin Sam marry Pam in Seattle, with Vanessa and Keenan in the wedding party. Woo hoo!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY & MERRY CHRISTMAS


December was a very busy month around here. Gramma Patty came for two glorious weeks.

Vanessa squirreled her away for hours, locked behind closed doors, pretending away, Gramma wearing whatever dress-up outfit Vanessa dreamed up. I got so much done, the first few days, I gleefully put together lunches on our giant golden tray and delivered it to their room, saying, "No, no, don't stop, just enjoy your lunch." And, with a wink to my mom and a little grin, I was back to getting things done around the house. Keenan was either entertained by the girl play, or helped me do chores. He is an easy-to-please kind of guy.

One of the first things we did to Gramma Patty was put her on the preschool float in the local holiday parade. Our float won a prize! We saw Santa, we baked cookies, we put up the tree, we hung lights, we sang Christmas carols. And then, just before Gramma was to leave, we threw Vanessa's first official birthday party for friends.

Vanessa had told me she wanted her own room for her 4th birthday, painted purple. She also said she wanted a "rainbow birthday with a red cake and a pinata filled with horses." Too bad the child can't be more specific. Well, I'll be darned if we didn't consider that fantasy a roughed out to-do list.

Maybe it was the guilt for her being so precipitously close to Christmas, ensuring everyone's schedule would forever more be too full for a birthday party. Or maybe it was because we had never had a true birthday party for her in four years, like our peers throw for their miracle children. Jack being the youngest of seven and me the youngest of five means we were raised to feel like royalty when our birthdays were noticed, and we had a cake with candles and several (rarely all) family members present. There is a photo of me on my first birthday - albeit dim and rather out of focus - and another on my 13th birthday. That's it for birthday photos. Jack's family completely forgot his birthday one year. So, um, doing it up big for Vanessa was a stretch for us.

So, fearing no parent would carve out time in the middle of a precious December weekend day for a 4 year old's birthday party, we scheduled an dinner time "drop off" party, so parents could shop or date or whatever parents do without kids (I've forgotten), on Monday, December 13th.

I found a traditional, Mexican horse pinata for $15 that was literally taller than Vanessa and filled it with candy, trinkets, and toy horses. Daddio put a hook square in the middle of the living room ceiling to hang it. We ordered a princess castle bounce house for $100, strung lights all over the backyard, and asked "Auntie Shea-Shea," and her beau Dan to help manage the crowds. Daddio made several sandwiches - PBJ, tuna, turkey and cream cheese - and cut them in quarters, diagonally. We put out carrots, cucumbers, grapes, watermelon, boiled shrimp, sushi, pesto tortellini, and bacon (Matthew's request).

Instead of birthday cake, we arranged for the Good Humor man to come in his ice cream truck. All the party guests ran outside clutching a dollar bill to make their order and march off with an ice cream. The Good Humor man handed back the ones and gave me the real bill - $24.

Vanessa is at the age where she was really, really into getting and opening gifts, especially toys. On the invitation, I mentioned that re-gifts and hand-me-downs were encouraged. She just needed something to open! She had a blast.

After it was all done, Daddio and I felt our inner party meisters were reawakened. "We throw parties!" we said, staring at each other with silly grins on our faces. We have been out of practice, having little kids and all.

Gramma Patty babysat the kids with Sara Klein - the person who could go the distance with Vanessa when she was a "colicky" infant - so we could have an evening out for Jack's work party. Gramma had to hold Keenan when he began to wonder where I was, then walked all through the house looking for me. He cried and she just held him, rocking, until he stopped. Sara played with Vanessa. When we got home, nervous things had gone poorly, everybody was happy!

Vanessa's preschool had a wonderful Christmas production, with singing.

Keenan and I went out Christmas shopping and were mobbed by Keenan fans. In fact, we met a child model casting agent and then a children's photographer, Melissa Hogan, in Wal-Mart and exchanged numbers.

Then, well, we all got sick. First Vanessa, then Keenan and I at the exact same hour, then, to a lesser degree, Daddio. It was all very dramatic. Later we learned the stomach flu had been going around Vanessa's preschool class, that's why some classmates couldn't attend her party. The rest of 'em, including Miss Carmen and Vanessa, got it Saturday at 6 pm, where ever they were.

Granny Ernestine arrived with Uncle Mike just in time to celebrate Vanessa's real birthday on December 22nd. It was very low key, in comparison, and our newly minted 4 year old was, well, confused. "I already had my birthday," she pointed out. This night we sang her Happy Birthday, even little Keenan.



We got a surprise visit from Aunt Betty and cousins David, Theresa and Winston. We didn't get to see them at Uncle Wally's memorial service due to the flu. They could only stay a few minutes, but we all felt we could spend hours and hours and days and days together.

We had a quiet, homey Christmas, and, unfortunately, poor Uncle Mike got the same sickness we all had a week before: he spent the whole holiday in Vanessa's new room, under several blankets, or in the bathroom.

Keenan and Vanessa had lots and lots of gifts under the tree.

Daddio had to take the last two weeks of the year off, or lose some of his accumulated vacation. He got the flu and then it rained the whole time. We spent Christmas couped up inside while it flooded outside. The kids got off their eating and sleeping schedules and were overstimulated and hopped up on sweets. So Granny, Jack and I buried ourselves in hours and hours of playing Yahtzee. It was exhilarating!

When Granny and Uncle Mike were scheduled to leave, Mike was still too sick, so he stayed an extra day. That extra day was great, since he was up and about and Vanessa tried to take care of him and even teased him a little. It was quality bonding time for both of them.



And then, to finalize our year, we had a small New Year's Eve party with just Jen and AJ as our guests. The disco ball was on and music playing, but the party ended early. Ah, preschoolers. I was the only one up at midnight.

And as I reflect on the end of this year, with a one year old and a four year old in our life, my new year's resolution is to be more present, all the time, and not let myself tune out or try to mentally escape when I get run down. It's not reflected in my blog - except perhaps that I haven't been able to update the blog frequently - but Vanessa's third year was quite challenging for me. Although I understood she is going through a developmental phase of needing to test action and reaction - as I told Miss Carmon one exasperating day, "Vanessa is a social scientist and I am her favorite experiment" - knowing it and enduring it are two very different things. I'm pooped from the Talk-Back Threes! Wow!

NOVEMBER!

We are already having a wonderful holiday season!


November has actually been balmy - up to 90 degrees at home on at least one day - but we've been trying to get a family photo for Christmas. See us here, frolicking in the surf at sunset, having a glorious time:

We spent a couple of happy weeks hanging out at home, and with friends here in town...

At the beginning of Thanksgiving week, we headed off to San Francisco to see Granny Ernestine and introduce Uncle Bobby and Auntie Cindy to Keenan. What fun!

Then we swung by Oakland to intercept Allan, Maribeth, Duncan and Beckett, who were visiting Allan's brother for Thanksgiving. We took the kids - Duncan, Beckett, their cousins Owen and Xoxo, and Vanessa and Keenan - to the park. I think it was like 45 degrees or something. Brrrrr! It felt like winter all of a sudden! Made MB and I talk a lot about winter in Vermont.

We got to see all seven Hoyt children together at Thanksgiving, at Auntie Susan and Uncle Jim's house. Susan cooked for 40 people and Jim worked every day, rounding on patients, between setting up tables and chairs and helping to host. Very impressive and soooo much fun!

Midwesterners came, Seattlites came despite the big snow storm, SoCal showed, NorCal was there, Anthony came in the middle of his law school exams, Susan's family came... Even cousin Sam and his girl friend Pam surprised us, crashing the party after insisting they couldn't make it, then announcing their engagement!


Auntie Judi's little baby Sam just completed his Masters in Engineering while working at Boeing, and Pam mentioned she just left her job at Boeing to accept a VP position with a different company. And they still find time to date.

Cousin Valerie couldn't join us because she is in Indonesia teaching English, and cousin Krista couldn't join us because she was celebrating Thanksgiving with her future in-laws - yes, she got engaged, too. The two oldest cousins - both 34 - got engaged in the same month. This Thanksgiving, mother-of-the-bride, Auntie Kathy got to go wedding dress shopping. Very welcome news for the family after the year we've had.

I've been putting some of Vanessa's outlandish quotes on Facebook. She had a glorious time with her cousins and doting aunts and uncles. But my favorite quote came when she was acquainting herself with her 5 year old cousin (once removed), Evan. I heard her say, "Oh, I can tell you are part of the Hoyt clan by your huge head." She used a very sweet tone of voice to make that observation. It was a bonding moment, I think.

Later, after the two cousins had been playing for a couple hours on Thanksgiving Day, I located them behind a closed door, Vanessa sitting on a big box, with Evan sitting by her, hanging on her every word. I asked, What are you doing? Vanessa said, "We are playing Wolves." Evan added that Vanessa was talking to the wolves, telling them what they could and couldn't do, so they would know the rules. I think howling was part of it. They instructed me to leave, which I happily did, delighted to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving without chasing our little rascal.

See us all here, mano y mano for a photograph.

After Thanksgiving, we got to celebrate three family birthdays. Uncle Mike, Cousin Kasra, and Cousin David were all born on November 30th. Uncle Mike turned 50! We went to the Cliff House in San Francisco for a late lunch, then downtown to Ghiradelli's for hot fudge sundaes.

As a group, we are loud and cause a ruckus. We've been known to be yelled at by officials and even kicked out of places. Luckily, we were sequestered to a back corner of the Cliff House where no one minded us, and we spread ourselves out at Ghiradelli's. Vanessa got some oohs and ahhs for her long, black city coat, and Keenan was such a hit the staff kept giving him free chocolate treats. Too funny.

We swung by Fresno on the way home, to visit Keenan's birth family, Nicole, Zoey, Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Doc. We also met Debbie's mom. Nicole came back with us for a couple days before heading off to L.A.. We were happy to see each other again!

Nicole left on Tuesday, then Grandma Patty arrived on Wednesday for two weeks, to usher in December WOO HOO, Grandma!

In other news, Vanessa and Keenan's Uncle Wally, who has been ailing for over a year now, went home from the hospital on hospice right before Thanksgiving. He passed away this week. Uncle Wally was a minister and had a quadruple bypass 20 years ago. He surely had a second chance at life. He and Aunt Betty, Granny Ernestine's sister, have been quite a team. We are thankful we have gotten to spend time with them both since we moved to California and had Vanessa and Keenan.

Also, Vanessa had some medical drama this month. I took her to the pediatrician's for a rash that she had for 2 months. She also happened to have so much pain in her right leg that she couldn't bear weight on it when she got up in the morning. I've been calling the pain in the back of her right knee "growing pains" for about a year now. Any way, the pediatrician said, No, not growing pains, and ordered an x-ray of her knee to rule out cancer. Yes, cancer. DON'T WORRY, after more testing and imaging it looks like it's a leg length discrepancy. Let me assure you all, though, there has been a little extra amount of Vanessa Appreciation this month, wondering if she might be seriously ailing. Thank you God, for Vanessa. Thank you so much for all of our family and all of our health.

COUSIN DANIEL MARMON, RIP

Tragically, last month, Vanessa's big cousin Daniel Marmon slid off the road on his motorcycle and died. He was 28 years old and a veteran of the Iraqi War.

Daniel was Jack's sister Judi's son, and the brother to Sam and Matthew, and baby Jeremy, who was still-born. Daniel was born to his parents after Jeremy died, and was surely an answer to prayers from Day 1. He and little brother Matthew - red-headed billy goats - were affectionately called The Road Runners when they were zipping around creating mayhem as children.

We were able to make the trek to Seattle for Daniel's memorial service, to see Judi and the whole family and meet Daniel's friends, mostly soldiers, since he joined the Army in 2001 at the age of 19. After his church memorial service he had a military service. Keenan and Jack attended the military service, with a formal escort to base for family only. Jack described the military service this way:

The Seargent called to the soldiers, then began calling roll. He'd say, Anderson! and someone would answer Here! After calling a few names, he called Marmon! and no one responded. He called a second time, Marmon! then a third time, Marmon! Then, outside, you could hear the guns fire off five times for him. Then someone played Taps. According to custom, Daniel's boots, helmet and gun were set up together up front on a table. As soldiers filed by to pay their respects, they would touch the boots or the helment, many would place a special medal down as a sign of respect. Jack said it was very moving, to have people file by silently, then hear someone slap down their medal.

I cry now as I think about it.

The night we got the call that Daniel had passed, I burst into uncontrollable tears. Vanessa had asked me if I ever cry "for real." Upon seeing me weep over Daniel's passing, she said:

"Daniel died and has gone to heaven? Why are you crying? Mama, Daniel can see God. Don't cry." Of course I explained I was sad because I can't give Daniel a hug or have a conversation with him anymore. And then at bed time, "Mama, there are lots of people in heaven. Daniel isn't lonely. He won't be lonely in heaven."

Love you, Daniel.

DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES

A quick post on some milestones...

First, Keenan. Last Friday, in front of a dozen watchful parents, he walked down three steps, face forward, no hand rails. We were at Vanessa's school, waiting for class to be let out. Keenan did it a few times, enjoying the applause perhaps. I wish I had videoed. Then on Monday, after seeing the big (5 year old) boys jumping of he steps, he "jumped" off the bottom step. He stuck the landing. A few times. He was very pleased with himself.

Also this week, I caught him animating his toys - rolling a truck along an imaginary road and later, making a dinosaur walk along and growl.

He runs.

Of course his Big Thing is dance. I say, "Wanna dance?" and Bam! he's bustin' some moves.

He's starting to sing a little. We think he's on pitch, too. Music comes from both sides of his family tree, so we shouldn't be surprized.

Keenan's speech is, well, let's just say Hemingway would be impressed. Here's the list:

Mama = Mama, feed me, I'm tired (so hold me already)

Ball = ball

Bath = Bath, ocean, all standing or running water, really

Duck = duck, all creatures that fly

Dog = dog, all creatures with four legs

Dad = Daddio, all men

Max = Max

I did it = I did it

Mind you, save or pronouncing both m's in Mama, no ending consonants are actually uttered.

I guess the other notable thing is that Keenan understands everything we are saying now. He's got comprehension. I can say, go over there and sit on the box and off he goes. Love this!

Now, on to Vanessa. Daddio noted that she is oddly aware of other people's perspectives. After some investigation, we both believe she is into concrete operations.

Both she and Keenan love books. Crazy for books. Van is now reading them out loud to herself - ok, she cannot read, she's doing more of a play-by-play commentary as she flips through each page - and is nearly willing to entertain her brother this way. I've been reading Anne of Green Gables a chapter at a time before bed. Vanessa read the title of one chapter, Marilla is Surprised or something like that, and I about dropped over. Of course she wasn't really reading it, she just remembered. That memory! I wish I had a 3 year old's memory.

She's working on rhyming words right now.

At school they wanted to know if she could recognize her printed name, since they have it on her cubby. She can, which kind of surprized us. We tried to trick her, but she picked her name out from these:

Vanessa Holland Hoyt

Vanessa Hallager Hob

Vanessa Hattio Huyerman

Her teacher of a year and half commented recently that Vanessa'a art work has "taken off." I'm not exactly sure what Miss Carmen meant by that, but we sure are seeing some changes at home. One night after dinner, she drew these, in order:

Daddio, Mama,

Vanessers, Keen-wah.

I admit, it helps to have the artist handy to interpret... concentric circles for eyes, straight line for the mouth, circles for cheeks, parents have circles for noses and ears and, well, a few other things.

The next day, to build upon the face drawing, I asked Vanessa to draw a self portrait. She drew this, which is typical of her age and is called a "tadpole" person:

Then I asked her, "Can you draw a picture of yourself with your whole body?"

She said, "Yes, but I can only draw skinny arms and legs and a skinny neck."

I said, "OK."



She and I sat across the kitchen table and she drew this. Now, it's not so easy to see what she drew, I know, but it was fascinating to watch her draw. She drew a circle at the bottom of her paper, then gave it hair, eyes, mouth, etc. upside down so I could see it right-side up from my perch across the table. Then she gave it a very thick, dark neck. Not sure why. She said, "This is you." Then she drew another circle and said, "This is your belly, and... this is me inside your belly."

That's when she gave attention to drawing herself in utero for the self portrait. She gave herself arms and fingers and legs and monkey toes, then did the same for my body. Then, at the end, she drew the thick line at the bottom of her paper, saying, "This is the roof."

I took a video of the second half of the drawing. I couldn't believe she could draw upside down. My gosh, I didn't know she could draw anything but scribbles. I know lots of kids at this age do, but we just hadn't seen Vanessa draw.

Then she drew one more of both of us. My head is in the upper left corner and I am lying on the floor, holding her as a tiny baby on my legs. She is covered in a blanket (black). She gave me a round body, no neck, and stick arms and legs, which are cradling her. She drew a red floor, then gave me aqua pyjammas, since aqua is my favorite color. I love this picture!

Aside from these opi, she is bettering her skills at coloring inside the lines in coloring books. Some of the crayons melt and bend from the heat of her grip and the pressure of her strokes. You don't have to color so hard, I suggest. "I like strong colors," she counters. Indeed.

One day she said to me, "When I was a tiny baby in your belly I couldn't wait to draw. I was waiting to come out to draw. For practice, I would draw on my hand." Okay.