KEENAN IS 3 MONTHS OLD

Hello, all. So much is going on and also, so little. Mostly, I feel I have my backside glued to the recliner, rocking, rocking, nursing, nursing, our wee son, Keenanikins (rhymes with Shenanigans, with irony, since he's a perfect angel). Days and nights blur together, however, as I do my triple shifts in an effort to let Daddio sleep through the night so at least one of us is sane by day. We were trying to think when the last time I had 4 hours of sleep in a row was. We think it was summer 2005, when I was first pregnant.

Both kidlets have been some kind of sick for oh, two months. All illness is low-grade, so I'm not bringing them to the pediatrician. Also, I don't get out so much because baby Keenan *loathes* the car seat and anything to do with the car. It is highly stressful taking big sister Vanessa to her preschool three times per week, since that means six trips in the car per week for Keenan, screaming, choking, and yes, vomiting. I think he might get motion sickness on top of whatever is ailing him.

But other than that, I was telling someone yesterday that Keenan is a much easier baby than Vanessa, partly because she was our first child, but also quite definitely because he is not as grouchy, vocal, and hungry as Vanessa. She nursed every hour on the hour and Keenan is more of a normal eater, going 3 and even 4 hours between feedings. I guess that's the difference between our 95th percentile daughter and our 5th percentile son, in terms of growing.

Keenan just wants to be held, as Grandma Patty says, and he's happy as a lark. Well, he mostly wants to be held by me in the evenings, but others can hold him other times of the day. Daddio gets lots of good times with his son, and Keenan has started cranking his neck around and smiling at the manliest member of our family when he walks by. Yep, Daddio sure is a head-turner.

Granny Ernestine graced our home this month, and Keenan was delighted to spend time with her. Keenan's birthmom's mother, Grandma Debbie, also came to visit with her boyfriend, Doc, who was a Viet Nam Army medic. Vanessa loves them, too.

I was telling someone else this week that the transition from only child to big sister has gone relatively well for VanNannerkins. Swimmingly well, really. The experts all warned she would likely regress in many areas, but no, not our frozen tot. In the past three months, she has fully potty trained except for a diaper during the night, she has moved from our bed to her own big bed in her own room (although I have to lie down with her to get her to sleep), and she has weaned except for about 10 minutes of nursing per week, down from 5 times per day. We think she looks at Keenan and thinks, "Now that's a real baby - I'm big." Her preschool teacher, Miss Carmen, also reports a bit of a transformation to more responsibility.

Vanny is not jealous, rather she gets frustrated when she cannot hold her new baby brother. For a little girl who loves her dolls and thinks she's a mommy, a live baby doll in the house is mighty interesting. But, especially when she's sick (and he's sick) she does need some old, familiar lap time with Mama, which is hardly available. My gosh, Van used to have full access to my lap and my hugs, and now I can scarcely give her any affection. We have to be more intentional about our affection and attention, with designated Girl Time, no boys allowed, of course. Usually that means we take a bubble bath together. So far, so good.

When we're not having Girl Time, Nanners entertains herself or hangs out with Daddio.

At three months old, Keenan is smiling, cooing, sitting up, standing if we hold his underarms a little, and he even crawled four inches. He also rolled over from his belly to his back, but that was at one month and I haven't had the nerve to let him practice any more. We mark the calendar every time he has a poop, since it happens about once every 5-8 days. He's almost ready to move from Newborn sized clothes to the 0-3 months size.

On the rare occasions I do get Keenan out in public, he is absolutely mobbed by admirers. Most think he is a newborn, because he weighs approximately 9 lbs., but all agree he is gorgeous. We had to take him to the E.R. when his temperature was elevated (the E.R. doctor diagnosed him with influenza and said, "The CDC advises us to treat all influenza as the swine flu," but the next day our ped said it wasn't) and the nurses freaked out about Keenan, declaring him to be the most gorgeous baby they had ever seen. We didn't argue.

In other news, our cousins Pete and Becky welcomed their new baby into the world, Veronica Jennings. We can't wait to meet her!

Sadly, we have lost two great prayer warriors and devoted Vanessa advocates. Sophie Bandur, who was housebound and prayed her socks off for unborn Vanessa and for me - every day for years - passed away after 2 years of illness. And, soon after Sophie, we lost Grandma Liz - Elizabeth Jordan - Granny Ernestine's best friend for forty years. Anyone who has ever known Grandma Liz has been struck by her radiant love and amazing smile. She, too, has been ill for two years. Both grandmothers were older than 85 and married. We pray for their husbands and their whole families now, and thank God for Sophie and Elizabeth in our lives.

We continue to wait to hear about Jack's job. He has gone through two sets of interviews by phone and awaits the final round of interviews, in person, at Cal Poly next week. He also got a call from the University of Oregon coach, who needs to hire a crackerjack multi-event coach. That lead is cold, but, all leads have been felt by the family, as we wait and wonder where we will be this time next year.

There are three video clips from the news that I wanted to post. First, "Auntie" Nell went to Japan for a month to star in Tokyo's video bid for the Olympics. See her, on youtube.com if you search "Tokyo bid for Olympics."

Next, the October 18th 60-Minutes broadcast covered troops in Afghanistan. I wanted to post a link to the news piece that shows our nephew, Andy, in a close-up (right after a Viagra commercial). But I can't access it any more. Andy's reports from the war are surprisingly upbeat. His mom, Auntie Anne, says Andy has been so hot that he's woken up in an inch of sweat. None of is USMC platoon have been lost - Andy is one of 4 Navy medics. He is due home mid-November. Thank you for your prayers.

And here is the video clip from Lifetime Adoption. It's 9 minutes long and features our beloved birthmom, Nicole, and a few clips and quotes from us, too. You can go to youtube.com and search Lifetime Adoption. Select the video called "One World" with Jack's face on it, uploaded in the past month.

http://www.youtube.com/watcht?v=T6JzE4hAQK0

I'll leave you with the following quotes by Vanessa, in no particular order:

"Daddio? Can you turn my little brother into a Zombie now?"

"Mama, tell me a story about two princesses named Mama and Vanessa." (every single night)

"God takes old people and sick people." Where does he take them? "Around the world."

"Does God die?"

"I have on my birthday suit. It's pink."

"So if I took off all my skin, my muscles would fall out and no one would be able to fix me forever." (after I explain what's under our skin.)

"I think I'm a baby house-wife. Like you, Mama." I like that you are like me, honey, and I'm glad you are like your dad, too. "I am like Daddy: I'm cute and friendly." That's like your mom (Jack says). "Oh. Well I'm cute and smart - just like Daddy."

STATUS UPDATES

Everyone keeps emailing to ask when the CNN broadcast will be. We actually don't know ourselves. This is what Lifetime says about it:

www.lifetimeadoption.com/highlights/html

That's birthmom Nicole in the website photo!

So I think it will be hard to catch it on air, but it will also be posted on youtube in October or November, I think.

Around here, it's busy. Or, well, sedentary. Both Vanessa and Keenan have colds, which means I'm sitting up with Keenan most every night in the recliner and all day long, too. So I'm feelin' kinda cray zee. Yes. Loco mama.

Yesterday Keenan was extra clingy and sick - he screamed his head off in the car seat on the way to Vanessa's preschool and back. Then, at bedtime, I passed him to Daddio so I could (ahem) pee and brush my teeth, but I couldn't even get that done without Keenan losing it and Daddy handing him back in a hurry. He has a lot of phlegm stuck in his chest and I imagine that it's ending up in his tummy since he can't hork it out properly. The poor guy.

Nanners, on the other hand, is barely detained by her upper respiratory malarky. She's turned some kind of corner at school - all grown up, like a big girl now - and is sleeping in her own bed in her own room all of a sudden. She is also more than half way weaned and potty trained, if you call voiding in the garden potty training. At least she can go without a diaper and not have an accident.

(That's Aunt Betty in the photo - she and Uncle Wally were in town a few days to escape the fire smoke in Pasadena.)

As I sit and hold our newborn and spectate as our toddler pulls the house apart, there are a few other things going on. We have a mouse under the kitchen sink. The cat has no idea. The cat has a gaping, draining abscess on his forehead. The Caddy is in the shop and we are digging our new ride (Honda Pilot). Keenan rides in the middle of the back seat and Vanessa rides in the way back, like a high school student.

Keenan is starting to smile for us. The little dear! And if I hold him up to look at me I can say, "Can you take your HAND and touch my NOSE?" and sure enough, he has herky-jerky motions, but he gets the job done. As Grandma Patty says, "He likes to be held," and he sleeps with his hands up. He had his first bath submersion in the big bath tub and he liked it a whole lot. Keenan can sit propped up and he's alert and looks all around wide-eyed and somewhat surprised-looking when he's not nursing up a storm.

Daddio and his coworkers wait patiently for some word on the Head Coach job at Cal Poly. Mum's the word from the A.D., who is apparently keeping her cards close to her chest. None of the three coaches has even been contacted to set up an interview yet. Sooooo, we all wait and wonder.

Jack leaves for France this week for a competition with Auntie Shea-Shea. Our French student camper Fleur and her mom will be able to meet them at the track meet! Oh how I wish Vanessa and Keenan and I could go this year, but no, maybe next year. I will surely not be posting on the blog until he gets home to rescue me!

Last weekend we missed a huge family wedding. Debbie, the Magic Aunt's daughter Sarah married Katsu in Rhode Island. We were bummed to have to miss it. We hear the bride and groom were stunning, the wedding was like a fairy tale, and everybody danced.

In other family news, we have our nephew Andy on the brain. He's in Afghanistan, patching up wounded Marines. He's one of four Navy medics in this photo, which was randomly noticed by another military mom who knows Auntie Anne and Andy.

Out of the hundreds of unnamed photos that come across the wires from the war, this one happens to have Andy in it, holding a gun for heaven's sake, in the top right corner. Even hospital corpsmen have to know how to defend themselves and their country, and they pose together so no one can tell who the medics are, so I won't point him out exactly.

Word is, Andy has written notes to the family saying that he feels like he's at camp. After two months in Afghanistan, he said he thought the time had flown by like it had only been a couple days. He had to wear his boots for two week straight, even while he slept, presumably because a soldier could lose his life if he has to pause to fiddle with his laces when a strike happens.

Andy also said he's witnessed some miracles. One involved a bomb (pardon my lack of jargon) planted in the ground that one of his buddies triggered. It went straight up in the air and would have surely killed a few people, but it turned out to be a dud. The soldier lost his hearing, but even that came back after a half day.

Lately the heat has been intense - up to 140 degrees Fahrenheit - which is surely near deadly for our pink skinned redhead. He has been getting worn down, especially in the sleep department.

Auntie Anne had Psalm 91 on her mind when Andy deployed.

"A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you."

So if you find yourself thinking of cousin Andy out there in Afghanistan, please send up a prayer that he'll have restorative sleep and come home to us safely at Christmas time.

KEENAN IS ONE MONTH OLD!

Vanessa's baby Keenan is one month old today. In honor of his advanced age, I put him on his belly for tummy time. It was a bit of a joke, really, since our little son came out of the womb with an amazing strong body and the ability to lift his head and look all around. So, to get back at me, Keenan didn't cry, he rolled over onto his back. Not bad for a one month old who was born 3 weeks early.

Keenan, or Quinoa (pronounced "Keen Wah") as Van and I call him, is a strong little guy. We jokingly call him The Humanoid, because he is so much more like a six pound grown man than a newborn. He has no baby fat, he already needs a haircut, he can stand on my lap when he leans against my chest, he looks all around and into your face and sizes you up intelligently. I am half expecting him to walk across the floor next week. "What's the youngest baby to stand up?" Daddio asked. We better look that up.




"I think Keenan is going to be a running back. Big wing span, sprinter legs, monster-grip hands. He'll be 5' 9" and fast. He'll be on the high school team in town - The Tigers. GO TIGERS!"

This month of Keenan's life has been, well, chaotic.

First, we got home and I started not sleeping. I've been doing the night shift and the day shift, leaving me ill equipped to take, let alone upload, pictures.

Second, Jack was scheduled to go to Germany for the World Track and Field Championships, to coach Auntie Shea-Shea in the heptathlon and the high jump. Friday before he left, he put in a job application for the Head Coach position with Boise State University. Monday morning, the Boise State Athletic Director called and said, "We'd like to interview you. Can we fly you up today?" So off went Daddio, in his seldom-worn blue suit, to interview in the Northwest.




He was gone two nights and BOY! was that hard on me, with our nocturnal newborn and mother-loving toddler trying to adjust to the big new change. The 10 hour job interview went extremely well. Daddio flew home Wednesday morning, got off the plane, and had to go directly to work for a mandatory meeting. I was none too pleased he had a mandatory meeting during his paternity leave, but that's the way it goes.

Turns out, Jack's boss has decided to step down from her position as Head Coach after 18 years. That's what the meeting was about. So. Another job opportunity: the one we have been hoping for since we moved to California four years ago.

Daddio came home from his interview in Boise and the meeting at work kind of blown away. "This has to be the weirdest week of our life," he said. That is quite a statement. Then he brought in his luggage and jumped in the car to go get my mom and Aunt Cyndi, Daniel and Matthew at the aeropuerto. They arrived for their summer surf vacation. Jack left for Germany the next day.

Having Grandma Patty, Aunt Cyndi, and Daniel and Matthew visiting was quite a God Send for me while Daddio was away for a week. They had fun, too, I think, although it's always um "different" vacationing with a toddler let alone a newborn. Aunt Cyndi wrangled Vanessa like a pro, and Grandma kept house and fed the livestock. Daniel and Matthew explored the county as only 10 and 12 year old boys can - water slides, game rooms, skate boards, bumper boats, banana bikes, segways, ATVs at the dunes... things none of our other visitors would even think of.

Stupefied by lack of sleep and only a half cup of coffee per day, I sat in the recliner, nursed Keenan day and night, and pondered our fate. We watched Auntie Shea-Shea on TV.

When Daddio arrived home, we learned that the Boise State job had been offered to the other finalist. Although we were excited by the opportunity, we didn't get too upset. We wondered if we could really move this month. Jack would have had to fly from Germany to Boise to start work.

The Cal Poly Head Coach job is not a sure thing for Jack to get. In fact, a new Head Coach can come in and fire some or all of the staff in order to hire his or her own staff. So, for the first time ever, Jack and I are worried about whether or not he has a job in a month. The Athletic Director hopes to have a decision made by mid-October. If Jack is fired, that would be a difficult (impossible, perhaps) time of year to get a track and field job. All track and field jobs open in June, July and August. Jack 's application is in and our fingers are crossed.

Here's the local newspaper's article, with a quote from Jack:

http://www.sanluisobispo.com/224/story/814263.html


In the midst of all this, Vanessa is dabbling with potty training herself and weaning herself from breast feeding. She has also demonstrated a bit of a cognitive leap, most notably marked by more language expression. This morning she was speaking to us in Spanish. She had to point it out to us, because we don't know Spanish.

In all ways, VH1 is walking a little taller in her princess shoes. When we went to her preschool ice cream social Vanessa marched off to the ice cream line, got a dish of ice cream, and made her way through the self-serve line of condiments. She did it all by herself, and communicated her needs clearly enough to the ice cream line staff that they did not wonder where her parents were.

Daddio takes her to the track for workouts with Sharon and Chris. Last week the Cal Poly football team was practicing. Van was fascinated. "Daddio? Can I touch them?" she asked. "Not 'til you're much older," he said. "HEY GUYS! PUT ON YOUR HELMETS!" she shouted from the sidelines. They cracked up at that. We think Vanessa thought they were robots.

Next week we are going to be interviewed for an 8 minute CNN documentary on open adoption, along with birthmom Nicole, Zoey, and two other adoptive families and birthmoms. The week after that, Daddio's paternity leave ends and the interviews begin for the Head Coach position. The week after that, Daddio will probably go to Bordeaux, France to coach Auntie Shea-Shea at the Talence multi-event meet. (I'm foolishly toying with the idea of going.) The week after that will be our 18 year wedding anniversary. That pretty much rounds out September.

We have no idea what October will bring.

And oh yeah - we bought a new car because we couldn't fit two car seats in the back of the Saab safely.

"HEY I'M WITH THE KIDS"

Daddio and I are pretty darned excited to finally join the ranks of parents with two children.

"Mama, my baby [brother] is a 'nuggler." Vanessa is pretty stoked, too. She is so digging her new role.

I remember when Vanessa was born I said to Daddio, "Millions of newborns survive first time parents." Now I say to him, "We are not the first family to survive having a second child."

You may know that I am nursing Keenan, because I am still nursing Vanners a little. The bonding with our adopted newborn - who is programmed to comfort to the sound of his mother's voice and smells - is crucial. So far, so good. I smell like milk, he hears my voice when he is being fed said milk, and he trusts me already as a result.

How is Vanessa taking all this. "Expect regression from a 2-3 year old when a newborn is brought home," the experts say.

The second morning home from the hospital, Vanessa climbed onto the big potty unbeknownst to us and dropped a number 2 into it. When she announced she had done this we didn't believe it.

The third morning home from the hospital, after falling asleep with Daddio with no nursing whatsoever, VH1 came in to see me in bed saying, "I want the boob, Mama."
I said, I'm sorry, you can't have it right now - "
"Because baby brother needs it, right? Okay!" and off she went.

When I carry Keenan in his car seat, Vannerkins puts her hand on the handle to help me.

She gets us the boppy and delivers it to our laps, saying, "There you go. That's for the baby."

She loaded some toys on top of Keenan when he was hanging out in the swing. Luckily, they were light weight.

"I think my baby brother wants me to hold him!" she will randomly exclaim. She often holds his hand and tickles his curly hair.

I have been explaining the need for Keenan to nurse more than her, so he can grow, and she seems to be getting it. I say, "You can nurse out of the right side in the morning and after dinner. We'll save the left for the baby (because there's usually more milk in it)." "Yes, she says, that one is full of the heart beat. He likes that."

And Keenan? He is a dream baby! He is serene and good natured. Unlike his big sister, he sleeps for hours, travels very well in his car seat, and rarely cries. Jack and I are incredulous. Daddio is taking a month of paternity leave, which is great, because Vanessa needs attention.

Baby Keenan stares into our eyes, he quiets when I am near, he is trying to stand up, and he can lift his head up and look all around. He is strong like Vanessa was and Daddio thinks he has quick feet. His ankles are still bent up towards his shins, "No ballet for him," I said. "Perfect sprinter form," Daddio noted. He has super quick feet.

On Monday Keenan had his first pediatrician's appointment. "He has excellent muscle tone!" they said. He's only lost one ounce in his first week, so they know he's eating and didn't even schedule a weigh in for Week 2. "He's perfect," they concluded. Yes, he most certainly is.

After that, Keenan had his first professional photo shoot with two photographers who shot him for their portfolios. I had to sign a model release for him. I'll post the shots when I get them.

On Tuesday we packed Keenan, Vanessa and Fleur into the car and headed to Granny's house, because Fleur needed to fly home to Madrid. We said goodbye in a rush, since we thought her flight left at 10:25 pm, but at the last minute we figured out it left at 9:10 p.m. Daddio grabbed Fleur in his arms before she had her shoes completely on, ran to the car, sped to the aeropuerto, and they ran to their gate. I think Fleur thought that was neat. Daddio? Not so much. Fleuritadita made her flight and they had a tearful goodbye at the gate. What a fun time we had with her and now Vanessa knows what it's really like to have a big sister. We think the experience was invaluable and perfectly timed.

At Granny's, we had a small reception for baby Keenan, with cousins Krista, Adrienne and Anthony, and Uncle Mike and "Auntie" Carol (Auntie Susan's sister) there to receive him. Keenan was mellow, but big sister was sprinting for three hours inside the apartment. "Vanessa is a three ring circus!" Auntie Carol remarked. Yes, yes she is.

Also that evening at Granny's we met with the social worker to sign the final papers for Keenan's adoption. IT'S OFFICIAL. Keenan is our son! We have a bottle of champagne from Champagne, France, thanks to Fleur's parents, and a Cuban cigar from Cuba, thanks to Sharon who just competed there. We are going to celebrate this little guy's birth in style! Nothing but the best for The Key Man!

We are in touch with birthmom Nicole each day. I talk with her on the phone and Jack sends her a daily picture. She is already experiencing many surprise blessings since she left the hospital and says she herself has experienced a rebirth with Keenan.

Yesterday sweet baby Keenan was one week old. He and I, sleeping together on Granny's couch, were awake from 4:00 am to 4:20 am, his labor and delivery time, saying prayers together for Nicole.

Auntie Anne called to read me these verses, for Nicole and for Keenan:

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.


Keenan is a Celtic name meaning "Ancient little one." We believe his name was written in God's book at the dawn of time and that God has been preparing all of us to receive him exactly as he has come to us. He is adopted and was perfectly planned.

WE HAVE A SON!

Yes, the baby shower thank yous were not even written and the tie-dye onesies not yet washed when Nicole called to say that "something was happening." That was Tuesday night. We set the alarm to get up and drive to L.A. first thing Wednesday morning, but baby Keenan couldn't wait.

We got a call from Nicole at 4:00 a.m. that went like this: "Mary? huh-huh-huh-huh-huh. I'm in the car huh-huh-huh-huh-huh on the way to the hospital! huh-huh-huh-huh-huh THE BABY IS COMING." And then we got the call that he had arrived, before we had left the driveway.

Baby Keenan Jackson Hoyt was born at 4:20 a.m. on Wednesday 07/29/09 at Little Company of Mary Hospital in Torrance in Room 316. He weighed 5 lbs. 3 oz and was 18 inches long. The cord was wrapped around his neck, but he was born with excellent APGAR scores. We met him when he was 4 hours old.

When I said, Room 316? Well that's an easy number to remember, thanks to the bible verse, Nicole and friend Alice looked up John 3:16 and read, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Nicole said that moved her greatly.

Keenan has dark brown hair that looks like a fur coat and feels like heaven. Jack said, "I'm going to rub a bald spot on his head, this hair is so soft I can't help touching it." Keenan was pink with red feet, dark blue eyes and a dimple, but he's getting tanner by the day, his feet still look like skis but are not so red now, and we think he'll have brown eyes soon. His hair looks "wrinkled" like Vanessa's did at birth.

He sleeps, eats and voids like a champ. We took him home on Friday - a 6.5 hour drive with traffic and pit stops - and he didn't cry once. Vanessa and I sat in the back seat and each held one of Keenan's hands as he slept.

Quotes from Vanessa:

"Baby Keenan makes me a big sister."

"Oh, he's so cute, and he has curly hair, like me."

"I'm so happy!" Why? "Because I have a baby brother!"



Vanessa was very excited to hold the baby and cried heartily when she had to let go. The first night home, Vanessa made up a couple little songs about being happy and sharing. She said they were for her baby brother, Keenan.

Keenan settles to my touch and voice. He even smiled for me when I sang to him.

Birthmom Nicole is doing very well. She is gracious and insightful, even through this emotional time. Sister Zoey and Grandma Debbie were present, as was our international house guest, Fleur, and several of Nicole's best friends. Nicole is a blessing to us.

Please pray for God's peace, trust, and wisdom for both Keenan's birth family and adoptive family over the coming days as we finalize this adoption.