NOVEMBER!

We are already having a wonderful holiday season!


November has actually been balmy - up to 90 degrees at home on at least one day - but we've been trying to get a family photo for Christmas. See us here, frolicking in the surf at sunset, having a glorious time:

We spent a couple of happy weeks hanging out at home, and with friends here in town...

At the beginning of Thanksgiving week, we headed off to San Francisco to see Granny Ernestine and introduce Uncle Bobby and Auntie Cindy to Keenan. What fun!

Then we swung by Oakland to intercept Allan, Maribeth, Duncan and Beckett, who were visiting Allan's brother for Thanksgiving. We took the kids - Duncan, Beckett, their cousins Owen and Xoxo, and Vanessa and Keenan - to the park. I think it was like 45 degrees or something. Brrrrr! It felt like winter all of a sudden! Made MB and I talk a lot about winter in Vermont.

We got to see all seven Hoyt children together at Thanksgiving, at Auntie Susan and Uncle Jim's house. Susan cooked for 40 people and Jim worked every day, rounding on patients, between setting up tables and chairs and helping to host. Very impressive and soooo much fun!

Midwesterners came, Seattlites came despite the big snow storm, SoCal showed, NorCal was there, Anthony came in the middle of his law school exams, Susan's family came... Even cousin Sam and his girl friend Pam surprised us, crashing the party after insisting they couldn't make it, then announcing their engagement!


Auntie Judi's little baby Sam just completed his Masters in Engineering while working at Boeing, and Pam mentioned she just left her job at Boeing to accept a VP position with a different company. And they still find time to date.

Cousin Valerie couldn't join us because she is in Indonesia teaching English, and cousin Krista couldn't join us because she was celebrating Thanksgiving with her future in-laws - yes, she got engaged, too. The two oldest cousins - both 34 - got engaged in the same month. This Thanksgiving, mother-of-the-bride, Auntie Kathy got to go wedding dress shopping. Very welcome news for the family after the year we've had.

I've been putting some of Vanessa's outlandish quotes on Facebook. She had a glorious time with her cousins and doting aunts and uncles. But my favorite quote came when she was acquainting herself with her 5 year old cousin (once removed), Evan. I heard her say, "Oh, I can tell you are part of the Hoyt clan by your huge head." She used a very sweet tone of voice to make that observation. It was a bonding moment, I think.

Later, after the two cousins had been playing for a couple hours on Thanksgiving Day, I located them behind a closed door, Vanessa sitting on a big box, with Evan sitting by her, hanging on her every word. I asked, What are you doing? Vanessa said, "We are playing Wolves." Evan added that Vanessa was talking to the wolves, telling them what they could and couldn't do, so they would know the rules. I think howling was part of it. They instructed me to leave, which I happily did, delighted to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving without chasing our little rascal.

See us all here, mano y mano for a photograph.

After Thanksgiving, we got to celebrate three family birthdays. Uncle Mike, Cousin Kasra, and Cousin David were all born on November 30th. Uncle Mike turned 50! We went to the Cliff House in San Francisco for a late lunch, then downtown to Ghiradelli's for hot fudge sundaes.

As a group, we are loud and cause a ruckus. We've been known to be yelled at by officials and even kicked out of places. Luckily, we were sequestered to a back corner of the Cliff House where no one minded us, and we spread ourselves out at Ghiradelli's. Vanessa got some oohs and ahhs for her long, black city coat, and Keenan was such a hit the staff kept giving him free chocolate treats. Too funny.

We swung by Fresno on the way home, to visit Keenan's birth family, Nicole, Zoey, Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Doc. We also met Debbie's mom. Nicole came back with us for a couple days before heading off to L.A.. We were happy to see each other again!

Nicole left on Tuesday, then Grandma Patty arrived on Wednesday for two weeks, to usher in December WOO HOO, Grandma!

In other news, Vanessa and Keenan's Uncle Wally, who has been ailing for over a year now, went home from the hospital on hospice right before Thanksgiving. He passed away this week. Uncle Wally was a minister and had a quadruple bypass 20 years ago. He surely had a second chance at life. He and Aunt Betty, Granny Ernestine's sister, have been quite a team. We are thankful we have gotten to spend time with them both since we moved to California and had Vanessa and Keenan.

Also, Vanessa had some medical drama this month. I took her to the pediatrician's for a rash that she had for 2 months. She also happened to have so much pain in her right leg that she couldn't bear weight on it when she got up in the morning. I've been calling the pain in the back of her right knee "growing pains" for about a year now. Any way, the pediatrician said, No, not growing pains, and ordered an x-ray of her knee to rule out cancer. Yes, cancer. DON'T WORRY, after more testing and imaging it looks like it's a leg length discrepancy. Let me assure you all, though, there has been a little extra amount of Vanessa Appreciation this month, wondering if she might be seriously ailing. Thank you God, for Vanessa. Thank you so much for all of our family and all of our health.

COUSIN DANIEL MARMON, RIP

Tragically, last month, Vanessa's big cousin Daniel Marmon slid off the road on his motorcycle and died. He was 28 years old and a veteran of the Iraqi War.

Daniel was Jack's sister Judi's son, and the brother to Sam and Matthew, and baby Jeremy, who was still-born. Daniel was born to his parents after Jeremy died, and was surely an answer to prayers from Day 1. He and little brother Matthew - red-headed billy goats - were affectionately called The Road Runners when they were zipping around creating mayhem as children.

We were able to make the trek to Seattle for Daniel's memorial service, to see Judi and the whole family and meet Daniel's friends, mostly soldiers, since he joined the Army in 2001 at the age of 19. After his church memorial service he had a military service. Keenan and Jack attended the military service, with a formal escort to base for family only. Jack described the military service this way:

The Seargent called to the soldiers, then began calling roll. He'd say, Anderson! and someone would answer Here! After calling a few names, he called Marmon! and no one responded. He called a second time, Marmon! then a third time, Marmon! Then, outside, you could hear the guns fire off five times for him. Then someone played Taps. According to custom, Daniel's boots, helmet and gun were set up together up front on a table. As soldiers filed by to pay their respects, they would touch the boots or the helment, many would place a special medal down as a sign of respect. Jack said it was very moving, to have people file by silently, then hear someone slap down their medal.

I cry now as I think about it.

The night we got the call that Daniel had passed, I burst into uncontrollable tears. Vanessa had asked me if I ever cry "for real." Upon seeing me weep over Daniel's passing, she said:

"Daniel died and has gone to heaven? Why are you crying? Mama, Daniel can see God. Don't cry." Of course I explained I was sad because I can't give Daniel a hug or have a conversation with him anymore. And then at bed time, "Mama, there are lots of people in heaven. Daniel isn't lonely. He won't be lonely in heaven."

Love you, Daniel.

DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES

A quick post on some milestones...

First, Keenan. Last Friday, in front of a dozen watchful parents, he walked down three steps, face forward, no hand rails. We were at Vanessa's school, waiting for class to be let out. Keenan did it a few times, enjoying the applause perhaps. I wish I had videoed. Then on Monday, after seeing the big (5 year old) boys jumping of he steps, he "jumped" off the bottom step. He stuck the landing. A few times. He was very pleased with himself.

Also this week, I caught him animating his toys - rolling a truck along an imaginary road and later, making a dinosaur walk along and growl.

He runs.

Of course his Big Thing is dance. I say, "Wanna dance?" and Bam! he's bustin' some moves.

He's starting to sing a little. We think he's on pitch, too. Music comes from both sides of his family tree, so we shouldn't be surprized.

Keenan's speech is, well, let's just say Hemingway would be impressed. Here's the list:

Mama = Mama, feed me, I'm tired (so hold me already)

Ball = ball

Bath = Bath, ocean, all standing or running water, really

Duck = duck, all creatures that fly

Dog = dog, all creatures with four legs

Dad = Daddio, all men

Max = Max

I did it = I did it

Mind you, save or pronouncing both m's in Mama, no ending consonants are actually uttered.

I guess the other notable thing is that Keenan understands everything we are saying now. He's got comprehension. I can say, go over there and sit on the box and off he goes. Love this!

Now, on to Vanessa. Daddio noted that she is oddly aware of other people's perspectives. After some investigation, we both believe she is into concrete operations.

Both she and Keenan love books. Crazy for books. Van is now reading them out loud to herself - ok, she cannot read, she's doing more of a play-by-play commentary as she flips through each page - and is nearly willing to entertain her brother this way. I've been reading Anne of Green Gables a chapter at a time before bed. Vanessa read the title of one chapter, Marilla is Surprised or something like that, and I about dropped over. Of course she wasn't really reading it, she just remembered. That memory! I wish I had a 3 year old's memory.

She's working on rhyming words right now.

At school they wanted to know if she could recognize her printed name, since they have it on her cubby. She can, which kind of surprized us. We tried to trick her, but she picked her name out from these:

Vanessa Holland Hoyt

Vanessa Hallager Hob

Vanessa Hattio Huyerman

Her teacher of a year and half commented recently that Vanessa'a art work has "taken off." I'm not exactly sure what Miss Carmen meant by that, but we sure are seeing some changes at home. One night after dinner, she drew these, in order:

Daddio, Mama,

Vanessers, Keen-wah.

I admit, it helps to have the artist handy to interpret... concentric circles for eyes, straight line for the mouth, circles for cheeks, parents have circles for noses and ears and, well, a few other things.

The next day, to build upon the face drawing, I asked Vanessa to draw a self portrait. She drew this, which is typical of her age and is called a "tadpole" person:

Then I asked her, "Can you draw a picture of yourself with your whole body?"

She said, "Yes, but I can only draw skinny arms and legs and a skinny neck."

I said, "OK."



She and I sat across the kitchen table and she drew this. Now, it's not so easy to see what she drew, I know, but it was fascinating to watch her draw. She drew a circle at the bottom of her paper, then gave it hair, eyes, mouth, etc. upside down so I could see it right-side up from my perch across the table. Then she gave it a very thick, dark neck. Not sure why. She said, "This is you." Then she drew another circle and said, "This is your belly, and... this is me inside your belly."

That's when she gave attention to drawing herself in utero for the self portrait. She gave herself arms and fingers and legs and monkey toes, then did the same for my body. Then, at the end, she drew the thick line at the bottom of her paper, saying, "This is the roof."

I took a video of the second half of the drawing. I couldn't believe she could draw upside down. My gosh, I didn't know she could draw anything but scribbles. I know lots of kids at this age do, but we just hadn't seen Vanessa draw.

Then she drew one more of both of us. My head is in the upper left corner and I am lying on the floor, holding her as a tiny baby on my legs. She is covered in a blanket (black). She gave me a round body, no neck, and stick arms and legs, which are cradling her. She drew a red floor, then gave me aqua pyjammas, since aqua is my favorite color. I love this picture!

Aside from these opi, she is bettering her skills at coloring inside the lines in coloring books. Some of the crayons melt and bend from the heat of her grip and the pressure of her strokes. You don't have to color so hard, I suggest. "I like strong colors," she counters. Indeed.

One day she said to me, "When I was a tiny baby in your belly I couldn't wait to draw. I was waiting to come out to draw. For practice, I would draw on my hand." Okay.

ONE LOVE, SUMMER 2010

Well the months just tick by, with this exciting new family and all, don't they? Where did July, August, and September go? Things happen rapidly around here! Vanessa worded it so well last night when she added this to our nightly prayer: Thank you God for my whole family, even me!

Here are a few princess shots of Nanners and Zo-Zo:

At the end of June we celebrated Father's Day and Jack's birthday. Nicole came to visit and we drove Zoey and Nicole home together as a family. Zoey was so excited to go home, but we did feel a big gap with her absence. As chaotic and exhausting as three preschoolers can be, it was also great fun to have three. In some ways, it is harder to have two than three, since three are loads of entertainment for each other. We built some wonderful memories with our time with Zoey.

For Father's Day, our adoption agency asked Jack to be the guest speaker for the monthly nation-wide teleconference they put on for their contracted families. He was a big hit! We watched the original Home Alone movie while he was on his conference call. Home Alone was the movie we saw on Maui in October 1991 on our honeymoon.

After Jack's birthday we packed up and headed east for 4th of July. First we were in Connecticut, overpopulating Auntie Cyndi and Uncle Dave's house. They took us blueberry picking - Van was so focused and serious for this event she didn't eat as she picked and used both hands to grab, making her the top picker for the group - frog catching, puppy petting, swimming, boating and fishing. Much poker was played with the nephews. We also went to an indoor bounce house park type place. Keenan was a big hit. Grandma came. Vanessa followed the big boy cousins with great intent - only deterred by the bite of a turtle Daddio caught - and loved every minute of action. People commented that Vanessa and her big cousin Daniel looked like siblings.

Then we headed to Vermont in a 100 percent humidity heat wave. Grandma rented a big log cabin up there. Almost everyone was there - even Cousin Andy and his girlfriend Michelle. We swam in the river, caught a toad, bbq'd, ate raspberry pie, saw a wicked awesome fireworks display at the high school ball field, set off sparklers and fire crackers, ate s'mores, attended the longest running parade in the state of Vermont (very down home, I might add), and generally had a blast. We barely saw Vanessa because she and Auntie Anne were busy catching up over tea. Keenan navigated the stairs over and over again so we could keep an eye on him. I'd post pictures, but I didn't have a camera, so I took lots of shots with other people's cameras and now I have none for the blog! (So, Jennings family, if I get any pics on email I'll post them here.)

After our idyllic New England summer adventure, we returned home to exotic California. The first thing we did was go to court for the final step in our adoption of baby Keenan! It was just Mama, Daddio and Keen-wah, we decided to have Vanessa go to school that day. The judge and the other official people all rose with us, we held our hands up, and the judge pronounced us a family. Daddio got choked up and said, "I had no idea this would be just like a wedding!" Yes, as Aunt Mary used to say to her two adopted children, just like mommy and daddy chose each other to make a family, so did we choose each other through adoption. We are family!

Then on July 29th Keenan turned one! We decided to have a low key celebration with just Nicole and Zoey for the weekend. It was nice. Nicole is a blessing to us and has made us feel we are his parents from the beginning, with great encouragement and no doubts.

So many people asked us carefully, "How is it going, this open adoption?" Nicole gives us great confidence, says, "you are his parents," does not question our ways, is sweet about making us feel like experts, and she's not jealous. She makes this work. I say it sometimes feels weird, simply because we didn't grow up seeing open adoptions around us as models, and there aren't Hallmark cards for some of our new, extended family. Other than it being brand new territory, it's pretty natural. Keenan is very, very loved.

At the 12 month mark, our wee man child is sleeping through the night. At his well baby check up they measured him at the 90th percentile in height (surely due to mismeasurement of a wiggly guy with a couple extra centimeters of hair on his head). His favorite song is "You're a Grand Ole Flag" because Zoey (and the whole family) had to learn it for her preschool graduation. He has cut new teeth. His favorite games are This Little Piggy, Chase/Be-Chased-By the Monster, and Fetch. He has a wicked throwing arm and he'll dance to anything even remotely resembling a tune. Keenie is a fancy guy - loves putting on shoes - his, Vanessa's, or mine - and the shinier the better. He still looks at Vanessa like she's a rock star and he loves his Daddio to pieces. At one point we must have shown Keenan how lions greet each other - they touch their foreheads together and say Mmmmm - because that's Keenan's favorite greeting.

Just after his birthday, we took Keenan to Mount Hermon for a week with the Hoyts. Auntie Susan and Uncle Jimmy rented a giant cabin and Vanessa and Keenan were the only little kiddies in the family this trip. Vanessa was thrilled to go to "camp" half days, but Keenan cried the minute we set foot in the daycare center and he sensed a parting of parents and babies. That didn't go over so big.

We also went to Santa Cruz boardwalk and introduced Vanessa to kiddie rides, kiddie roller coasters, log ride and haunted house. Whoopee! Our first ride was on the dragon. I rode with her in a dragon built for two. When the ride stopped, she jumped off, headed out, then turned and wrapped both arms around the dragon's long green neck. She stood there, hugging, for a full 60 seconds. She really liked the ride. Some of the nearby adults chuckled.

While at Mount Hermon, I received two compliments which will sustain me for a year, I swear. Two different people, on different days, said, "you have so much patience." Now that was an answer to prayer.

The rest of August was spent enjoying something we rarely ever do... staying home, not traveling and not hosting visitors. It was quite necessary. I soaked up Jack's presence around the house, as did the kids, and everyone's game elevated a little bit.

Keenan's getting a lot of attention out in public these days. Between his walking, dancing and running and his blondie curls and carmel skin, he's become quite the looker. He's fawned over where ever we go, kind of like Vanessa was in Beijing.

Here is Keenan in action. Hope this video loaded correctly!

Well, I was going to edit this and add more photos, but I dropped the laptop that is working and bent the connector to the external hard drive with all the photos. So, this is it for awhile. Hope that's okay.