SHE'S 5 MONTHS OLD NOW

Oh, it's the 22nd of the month and our baby girl seems all growed up! My gosh, it was just yesterday I was saying my prayers to the tune of, "Please God, please get us through the first 4 weeks."

Auntie Anne called to ask what Vanessa's "new tricks" are, so here's her list:

- The Monkey Screech replaces crying for a utilitarian call for attention. Right now, an eardrum-shattering "Ah EE Yee-ah!" is monkey for Help! Hey! Wow! Darn! Ow! Now! I'm over here! Pick me up! Hi! and Milk!

- Little Miss Vanessa can sit upright (but she's still working on pulling herself there on her own).

- She can roll over, and back.

- She recognizes the pets, tracks them through the room, caterwauls to them, and can pet them like a big girl. Alley Cat now comes around for some Nessa-love pretty frequently.

- She laughs out loud at Milo's wagging tail.

- She uses her hands to play with bath water. This morning she used them to play with shower water, which was rather frustrating for her. (BTW, if anyone wants to recreate the experience of giving baby Nessers a shower, get under the water, lather up, then have your spouse hand you a 20 lb. Butterball turkey thawed to room temperature. "Slippery" doesn't begin to explain it.)

- She shops with mama. Oh yeah, being out in public is entertaining to her now. Of course it doesn't hurt that whereever we go someone gets a case of the Vannies, leans in to make faces at her and get her to smile, giggle and coo, and some even count her monkey toes for her. Our budding socialite gets a real high from all that.

- She keeps getting those monkey toes caught in the toys dangling from her arch because she's quadradexterous or ambidexter-pederous... she uses all twenty digits interchangeably.

- She sits up in her highchair and helps Daddio get breakfast ready every morning (but she's sticking to milk for now).

- She's bulging out of her infant car seat so we ordered a new one for toddlers.

- She's wearing 12 month old clothes - you know, for the 20 lb. sized baby.

- She's read twelve different books and she turns the pages.

- She's an avid American Idol fan.

Vanessa is much smarter than we are. We're scairt. She's babbling now, but I won't be surprised if she spits out the Gettysburg Address later this week.

Last night Jack said, "She's got a real sparkle to her eyes. More than you or I do." Oh yes, this one is special.

POST MOTHERS DAY GLOW

First, an update on Mark and Kelly's triplets! They have two girls and a boy, Audrey, Marlee and Cordell, born on Saturday. All weighed around 3 lbs. and are off their respirators (do you think they inherited Mark's Olympic Marathon-capable lungs?), and Kelly (also a distance runner) is home and doing well. At one point before delivery there was a scare they'd lose all four, but it all ended well. Thank you, everyone, for your prayers!

We had a wonderful time with Granny Ernestine, Auntie Susan, Uncle Jimmy, Uncle Mike, big cousins Adrienne, Julia and Krista, and "Auntie" Carol for Mothers Day. Brunch and loads of See's chocolates and we were a phat and happy crew.

Speaking of phat, baby Vanessa's fans will not be surprised to hear she was a hit. When we venture out in public, we get the same three comments, pretty much in this order:

1. "Oh! Her eyes are so beautiful!" Thank you, she's got her daddy's eyes.

2. "What color is her hair?" Well now, what color do you think it is?

3. "She's so big!"

One white-haired woman at brunch said, "Well! You don't feed her much, do you? Heh heh heh!" I wasn't sure if I should say thank you to that or not.

True, at *almost* five months, she's big enough to ride in an umbrella stroller.

See VH1 eyeing her big cousin, Julia, whose baby pictures look so very much like wee Vannerkins'. Vanny would do well to grow up and look like Julia.

See additonal photos from this week, which perhaps need no captions, save "Note the monkey toes."

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY...

To all of us who have mothers!

First of all, an update on the triplets... THEY'RE HERE! We don't have the details except the magnesium slowed labor enough so they could make room in the NICU. No one had to be airlifted. Hallelujiah! What a mothers day for them.

Jack and I have two of the greatest moms who ever roamed the planet, I think. Both of them selected mates with similar family values and really enjoyed raising a large group of kids together. Kid-wrangling is the family business on both sides of the family.

Many, many people across the country know one or the other of our moms. Funny, not one but both our mothers are thoughtful to the point of being legendary.

I wish I had a photo of both grandmothers with Vannerkins, but I think we didn't pose for that on Easter. (They were both pretty busy attending to everyone and everything else that day.) I do, however, have a shot of the two whipper-snapper senior citizens from our Alaska cruise in 2005. They were so much fun!

Both grandmothers have been champions for Vanessa. I'd bet a nickel each one has said a prayer for her every day for the past five years. That's a lot of high powered prayer. Our moms have been champions for us. Remember they were both able to be with us the day Vanessa was born. They were together in the surgery waiting room when Jack sent Granny Ernestine a picture of the new baby on her cell phone. They both let out quite a whoop at that. So many prayers and hopes and heartaches led up to that moment!

Vanessa has Grandma Patty's name as her middle name and Granny Ernestine's looks. We hope and pray she gets even a smidge of the kind of parenting we were entitled to. We model our style after theirs as best we can.

EMERGENCY PRAYERS NEEDED

Our wonder-baby Vanessa is doing great, and Jack and I are too.

Our friends Kelly and Mark, however, need some emergency prayer support. Kelly is 28+ weeks pregnant with triplets and in the hospital on Magnesium, hoping to stop her contractions. Unfortunately, the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, which took such good care of our sweet Nessers, is full and unable to fit three new high risk babies. This is the only NICU in the area.

Kelly, Mark and their in-utero triplets were the first to visit Vanny in the hospital (see photo). Mark, Jack's coworker, is a cancer survivor and an Olympic marathoner. These miracle triplets are their first (last and only) pregnancy and were a serious long shot. The babies have looked magnificent the entire pregnancy. Mark and Kelly are an amazing couple who have embraced this huge challenge with humor and enthusiasm. If ever there was a perfect couple to parent triplets, they are them!

Thank you for keeping the five of them in your thoughts and prayers. God, as we well know, hears our earnest requests.

GRANNY ERNESTINE

This week was a big one, especially since Vanny was reunited with her beloved Granny Ernestine. Granny came last Friday and left on Sunday: we hadn't seen her since she was here for the day on Easter.

In preparation for her arrival, Nessa took me to Costco, just the two of us girls. This was a big event, since she rarely tolerates riding in her carseat and navigating a 150 lb. cart of Costco loot with one hand is hard to do when you are jiggling and jostling a howling infant in the other. For this reason, I have avoided Costco runs. I do believe I was yee-hawing as we peeled outta there with a packed trunk.

When Granny arrived, we were still flying high on our shopping endorphins, so we asked her to accompany us to that other sure-fire cry-house: the grocery store. You see, sometimes you can't get everything on your list at Costco. That 12 lb. jar of relish, for example, doesn't fit neatly into the door of the refrigerator. So off we went, three generations of grocery shoppers, to the store. Not only did Nessers not cry, she seemed to like the trip. Granny manned the cart with the carseat and baby in it, and I tried to catch them to drop items in. No tears were shed, not even at the checkout. We ate like queens the whole weekend.

Nesserkins loves her Granny. They did all sorts of things together while I did all sorts of things alone. They took walks, read books, played with toys, discussed Milo and Alley, and watched a bit of Baby Einstein DVD, twice in a row. Granny and I were mesmerized by Baby Mozart and felt proud we had introduced VH1 to the video babysitter at the tender age of four months. Aren't we good?

Granny left us on Sunday, but we are so looking forward to visiting her for Mother's Day this weekend!

Daddio came home from his work trip and we celebrated with some more bathing. Vanny needed it. She demonstrated her kicking abilities, something we knew she's been developing. I do believe she's got her father's quick feet, overdeveloped abdominal muscles, and inferno metabolism. She does have, however, her mama's Irish ears and storkbite birthmark. I just love this view of her.

In other news, Van and Milo are developing a little love affair. She smiles and coos when he saunters by; he steals kisses. Nessa is developing her public stamina, too. Daddio and I were able to go out to eat with her twice - no crying. Heck, mama threw caution to the wind and took wee Van to another board meeting, this time at the Department of Childrens Services. Nessa screamed and cried so all the nice social workers came to see which form of abuse I was inflicting, then, after some discreet nursing in a back office, Van snored her way through the first half of the meeting, woke up, and babbled and farted through the second half. At the end I apologized empahtically, but the attendees would have nothing of it: they were instant Vanessa fans.

She's perhaps teething, since she continues to drool excessively and is perpetually nibbling on her digits. She is teaching herself to not reach all the way back to her punching bag, as that does have an undesirable effect. We are happy to report that Vanny continues to apply herself to The Machine like it's her life's ambition. She can grab at all the Baby Frankenstein, I mean Einstein toys now. Just wait til she learns how to operate that opposable thumb.

OXYTOCIN ROCKS

I am overwhelmed with love for my infant daughter. I am CRAZY about her. This week I've had a particularly bad case of the Vannies. I can barely stand it, she's so adorable. I've taken to hugging her and kissing her on her phat baby cheeks, over and over again. I can't help it! My heart feels like it's busting out of my chest like the Grinch's new heart. Surely Nessa is undergoing another growth spurt and my oxytocin levels are skyrocketing.

On Wednesday we went to our mothers & babies group and from there to an executive board meeting. I had a bottle of breast milk with us for the meeting. Nessa didn't care. After 30 minutes of being cute, she had had enough of the agenda. It was time for her snack and nap. The bottle, however, was a foe she didn't have patience for.

After roaming the building jiggling and jostling my howling Monkey Princess, capturing the worried attention of every single mental health professional there, I wound up nursing Van in the office of the Executive Director. That's all she wanted. After 20 minutes we slipped quietly back into the board meeting, Nessa asleep in my arms, only to find it had ended early. So I wedged the sleepy monkey into her carseat which of course resulted in more blood chilling cries, and apologized repeatedly on the drive home, promising I'd take care of her properly just as soon as we got there.

Once home, we sat still on the couch in the quiet so Nessers could eat and fall asleep. I didn't budge an inch. She nursed til she crashed then she slept hard. My oxytocin levels must've been soaring.

Sitting there for 3 hours straight I realized I am the luckiest girl alive. There is nowhere I'd rather be, nothing I'd rather be doing than caring for her.

Oxytocin is passed to the baby through skin-to-skin contact. Remember how Daddio was there for the kangaroo-hold in the NICU that first night? If Nessa hadn't been in the NICU, which is open all night, Daddy would not have been able to spend that time with her past visiting hours.

And yes, dads have oxytocin, too.

Here are excerpts from the following website on oxytocin...

http://www.jbaassoc.demon.co.uk/watch/news%20bonding%20matters.html

"As long as contact with the infant remains, oxytocin causes mother to be more caring, to be more eager to please others, to become more sensitive to other's feelings, and to recognize nonverbal cues more readily. Continued nursing also enhances this effect."

"With high oxytocin, mother's priorities become altered and her brain no longer signals her to groom and adorn herself in order to obtain a mate, and thus a pregnancy. Now that the child has already been created, mom's grooming habits are directed toward baby."

"High oxytocin in the female has also been shown to promote preference for whatever male is present during its surges (one good reason for dad to hang around during and after the birth). Prolonged high oxytocin in mother, father, or baby also promotes lower blood pressure and reduced heart rate as well as certain kinds of artery repair, actually reducing lifelong risk of heart disease."

Nursing is good, as we all know:

"Although baby makes her own oxytocin in response to nursing, mother also transfers it to the infant in her milk. This provision serves to promote continuous relaxation and closeness for both mother and baby."

All nurturing touch is essential, of course:

"Persistent regular body contact and other nurturing acts by parents produce a constant, elevated level of oxytocin in the infant, which in turn provides a valuable reduction in the infant's stress-hormone responses. Multiple psychology studies have demonstrated that, depending on the practices of the parents, the resulting high or low level of oxytocin will control the permanent organization of the stress-handling portion of the baby's brain ..."

For more reading on oxytocin you can check here:

http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/index.html
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/miscarticles/attachmentparenting.html